A young woman of 16, who was determined to circumnavigate the globe--alone, (a trip her brother also took successfully a couple of years ago) has been all over the news this week.
Abby Sunderland has been on the water her entire life and is a well trained sailor. So confident in her ability her parents obliged her dreams to sail the world and let her go. However, as all adventures are not without peril, she suffered some damage to her mast and was, for a time, lost at sea. Thankfully she was found, but now there are a few loud voices in the world calling for charges of " criminal endangerment of a child" to be brought against her parents.The leading mantra sounds like "her parents were irresponsible and criminally so to let their 16 year old child sail alone" This seems ridiculous to me when we obviously let 16 year old people hurl down the roads in 2 ton vehicles at speeds that are horribly dangerous -especially when you realize that everyone else is also hurling along at the same speeds or faster in metal boxes with wheels right along with them. We let them participate in sports that could result in broken bones and possible permanent paralysis. We even allow our sons and daughters to join the military knowing fully that they could be killed as a result. Yet, when the worst happens no one calls for parents to be charged with neglect, abuse or criminal endangerment. When did it become honorable to die for your country at 19, but "wrong" to set sail around the world at 16? When did we underestimate young adults to the degree that we established a society that needs to coddle, feed, and insure them until they are 26 years old? What is so terrible about giving our kids the skills and the knowledge to make life all it can be even if they are not of the legal age to go to war, or to buy a cigarette, or a beer? After all, history is filled with a few teenagers that will forever be remembered for what they accomplished. For example...
At age 16, Barbara Johns made the most dramatic contribution to the American Civil Rights Movement. She took over her black high school and shut it down, leading to the legal crisis that wound up in the U.S. Supreme Court as
Brown v. Board of Education, the case that ended legal segregation in America.
Teachers told you endlessly about the midnight ride of Paul Revere, but did they ever tell you of the similar ride by Sybil Ludington?
At 16, Ms. Ludington rode twice the distance Revere did— through a rainstorm no less — charging her horse over roads of mud to warn the countryside that Red Coats were sacking Danbury, Connecticut, seizing the foothold they would need to retake the colonies. Ludington alerted militia men, and the militia was able to stop the invasion, chasing the Red Coats back to their ships.
Eliza Lucas (later
Eliza Lucas Pinckney) was 16 when she took over her father's South Carolina plantation and made such brilliant decisions, she soon became one of the wealthiest business leaders in the American colonies. Her leadership enriched the colonies by boosting trade, and she later put her support behind the American Revolution. So great was her importance to our nation that when she died, no less than George Washington asked to be a pallbearer at her funeral.
Alexander the Great was one of the most successful military commanders in history. He was best known for conquering pretty much of the world known to the Ancient Greeks including Syria, part of India, Egypt and even more around 300 BC. By the time he was 16 he had founded his first colony and named it Alexandroupolis.
Pope John XII ~ While modern-day popes are well known for being oldies, John XII was only 18 when his papacy began in the year 955.Mary Shelley is the acclaimed British author who wrote Frankenstein in 1818 when she was only 19 years old.
Joan of Arc ~ It wasn't easy being a girl in the 1400s, but Joan of Arc didn't let that stop her from becoming a national heroine in France (and, later, a saint). Joan was a peasant girl who led the French army to several important victories during the Hundred Years' War after claiming to have visions from God. She was later captured by the English and executed for heresy, all before the age of 20. About 500 years later she was made a saint by Pope Benedict XV.
There is also the story of the
Virgin mother of Jesus, Mary. While it is not known with exact certainty how old Mary was when the Messiah was born, some biblical scholars have assigned to her the age of 14 which is not inconsistent with Jewish tradition at the time for marriage
Most recently, there is also
Jessica Watson. An
Australian sailor, who was unofficially hailed as the youngest individual to sail non-stop and unassisted around the world despite her route not meeting
World Sailing Speed Record criteria She departed from
Sydney on 18 October 2009, heading eastbound over the
Pacific Ocean, Atlantic Ocean and the
Indian Ocean. She returned to Sydney on 15 May 2010, three days before her 17th birthday.
Last, but certainly not least--While it's no longer common or advisable, my great grandmother (and many other women of the time) married at a very young age. She was only 13 when she married my great grandpa who was 17. She gave birth to her first child at 15, and had six more in the years that followed. They owned and operated a family farm for the entirety of their lives, and were never divorced. Thanks to young love and to their parents who were insane enough to think it was fine for young teens to marry and carry on with the business of life, the story of
me got a chance to happen. How cool is that?
It bothers me greatly when society urges and celebrates women like Brittany Spears to use their gifts and parade their sexuality to sell themselves as Pop Icons at the tender age of 15, but calls for the punishment of parents who allow their daughter use her master skills to attempt something dangerous--a daughter bold enough to set sail around the world alone to make history and her dream a reality. I've told my kids their entire lives to dream big. Setting the largest imaginations afire in their hearts and minds for the adventure life should be, means that their footing is strong and sure when they leap for their goals and desires. I'm proud of Abby Sunderland and wish her every moment of success. I'm also proud of her parents for not giving way to often held nonsense that kids are incompetent and not capable. I understand as a parent the instinct to cocoon my little ones from what might hurt them--but there is a time to give them wings to soar. For some, that may come at 18...for others it'll be younger, and still for some it will be much older. In my opinion, parents allowing their daughters to conquer the world in the ways that they are able too is
not a crime. We would do well to strengthen the courageous hearts in our children. Stifling them for a need to protect and coddle might seem natural, but it also may kill the next Alexander the Great or Joan of Arc.
That would be the ultimate crime.
Comments (36)
Some people are trying to argue on the merits of the law since Abby is a minor that Child Protection Services should be called on her parents for letting her attempt this. But I really don't get what Abby did that was so illegal and egregious. There's no law against sailing!
This is all about little people trying to feel bigger by kicking a family when they're supposedly down. I think both Abby and her entire family should be proud of what she has already done. She is a champ
I whole-heartedly agree! I wish we had higher expectations of teens, and let them take risks.
I'm not a parent. That being said, I think you're right. It is crazier to me to start little kids in pee wee hockey and football than to let a skilled 16 year old take part in challenging situations like record setting sailing or flying attempts.
It's my devil's advocate side coming out, but, many of the examples you cited happened in times when a healthy 16 year old was considered mature. Then again, due to accident and illness, many people did not live to be 45. A twenty-something would be middle aged.
Oh Red... This is ridiculous.
All your examples are ridiculous too, except for the one sailor from this century. Whoop de Doo.
There comes a time where common sense has to enter into things. Other people had to put their lives at risk to find and rescue this kid. And she is a kid Red, a kid.
I have two teenage girls, and I encourage them to go for whatever they want to do...within reason. I'm not an idiot or a stupid parent.
There is a time when parenting with courage means saying NO.
I'm sorry my friend, but I can't agree with you on this one.
I'm all for letting kids master skills, but sending them alone around the world is just crazy. I don't think they should be charged with negligence, but dear god, that little girl was facing death alone on a cruel sea - ALL ALONE - If one of my kids were in that position, I think my heart would break. I keep thinking of her all alone . . . that kind of shit is tough enough for an adult . . . but for a kid? I do think that anyone who lets their kids behave like Brittany Spears at that age should be slapped though.
I respectfully disagree with this, for the reasons Bricker states. While I certainly agree that it is risky business having teenagers driving cars, at least there is help at hand, should they run into trouble. I also feel that whatever a parent allows their child to do, should be paid for by the parents, or the parents and the child. Who is paying for the costs of the search and rescue of Abby? If her parents want to allow her to do such things, they should incur the expense, just as they would have to do if their child wrecked someone else's car while driving. As Bricker also stated, people put their lives at risk on Abby's behalf.
Kathi
You have tried to justify the young girl's courage and the parents' desire to explore the seas. But, I think that a young girl all alone by her self facing the most dangerous time of her life, is not a sane or safe choice for any parent to make. I know that there are sixteen year old kids who are running wild on the highways and roads. But they usually get into accidents when they are not sensible and do not use caution.
I have read that these parents had allowed their other teenager children to do jus that. I am not sure how sensible that was either. I would never allow my daughter or son, to go around the world, all alone, in a rig. Would you? even if your daughter was the best sailor around? and if she were only sixteen years old?? Why are we so anxious to make our children lose their childhood years, in order to gain fame??
I am sorry Red, I have to disagree with you and all those who think that it was a great feat! My goodness, this little girl was about to die on high seas!!
Everyone go read this book, or at the very least look into this story and then step back and reevaluate the possible.
@barefoot_nomad - Thank you for link. It's amazing what faith and courage can do in the lives of those who will leap into an opportunity placed before them.
@ShamelesslyRed - I was introduced to the story by a good friend who encourages my crazy dreams. I am inspired. :)
@barefoot_nomad - That's the kind of friend we all need. Hang on tight to a friend like that
Well, I had my CPS rant last week, and nobody liked it. Mostly, I observe that so many people just simply cannot stand the idea of just minding their own business.
What happened to Abby's boat could have happened to a person of any age. In fact, it *has* happened to experienced male sailors much older than her. Some of them have died. I liked what she wrote on her blog - something along the lines of, "since when does age make big waves and high wind?" So very true. What is important isn't that she got in a storm, but how she handled herself when she did. Regardless of her youth, she did everything right. She activated the emergency beacons when her boat became disabled and she lost communications. She spoke calmly and clearly on her radio to the flyover plane - a day and a half after last speaking to *anyone,* alone in a disabled boat in the middle of the Indian Ocean.. She assisted in her rescue, leaving behind everything but the clothes on her back in her boat. And she wrote a very mature blog about her adventure, hours after being taken aboard the rescue ship. The world would be a better place if every 16 year old was as mature and level-headed as Abby.
I'm 25 and not yet a parent, but I really disagree with this. Most of the examples are from a time when 16 years old was a far cry from 16 years old today. The examples don't necessarily work either, because something like writing a book at 19 cannot be accurately compared to circumnavigating the globe at 16. In addition, some of your examples are negative. Do we really want a teenaged pope? Do we think 16-year-olds should be military commanders?
I learned in psychology class that the judgment center of the brain does not mature until a person is in his or her 20's. Expecting parents to say "no" to life-threatening, unnecessary risks until a child is 18 is the least we can do. I do not necessarily think the Sunderlands should be prosecuted, but I do think what they did was extremely irresponsible. I know that I thought I was ready to do a lot of things at 16. I was also lacking in judgment. (I never drank, did drugs, etc. I was very "responsible"-a great student, etc. I was still lacking in judgment, and I believe most, if not all 16-year-olds in the developed world are also lacking in judgment.)
I am certainly not a fan of people like Britney Spears, and I am a fan of dreaming big. But there are reasonable and unreasonable risks. Parents have the job of protecting their children, even when it means saying "no" to an older child who isn't able to understand the risks of the task he or she wants to do (I know she knew how to sail. I am talking about understanding risk in an adult way, which a 16-year-old cannot do because her brain is physically not mature enough to do so). If the Sunderland family wanted to circumnavigate the globe, I'd say more power to them. I disagree with their choice to let a child who still has several years before the judgment center in her brain matures to attempt to do something so incredibly dangerous on her own.
This event is an ink-blot. Person-under-eighteen, in perceived-dangerous circumstances.
http://www.nysun.com/editorials/why-i-let-my-9-year-old-ride-subway-alone
I'll add my own thoughts later...but 1990 (the year I was 9) was a great adventure for me.
Meh. If she wanted to do it then more power to her. She had plenty of safety measures on board and driving at her age isn't terribly safe but we let thousands of teens do so. Some teens are ready for responsibility sooner but our laws, like most laws, are of a blanket nature.
My daughter is 16. She is very capable, mature, and teaches karate classes by herself. Nonetheless, I am present when she does. I would not let her sail around the world until she was 18, even if only to prevent such an outcry. At 18, it could be argued that she was an adult and made an adult decision, whereas at 16, she is still a minor. We have increased the age at which we consider young people to be adults, and this is where I agree with the law. It was not 'necessary' for her to sail at age 16. I don't know if world records or ideal conditions were part of her desire, but that seems like foolishness for reasons.
If no bad thing had happened, however, would it have been news? It might have been, and some would have presented the list of terrible 'what ifs'. Bottom line for me was the fact that I would not have let my own daughter do this. We let her go to karate tournaments in other states, but only with a trusted adult present.
If she didn't run into trouble on the way, no one would have had a problem with this. Boo-hoo, she hit a wave and was stranded for a bit. 16 isn't that young, especially for someone who sounds very mature. Mature enough to be able to sail around the world anyhow. Right now, she's probably pissed that she screwed up on the way and is itching to give it another try. Some "kids" are adults in their heads. Really.
our schools give kids condoms and clinics give them bc pills behind parents back because those overseeing feel they know better than the parent. With std's at the rate they are, that is risky behavior that can end your life prematurely. Kids are allowed to terminate pregnancies without parental knowledge.
God forbid a kid get in a boat and travel around the world! What is wrong with that parent for not preventing their child in participating in such risky behavior!!
I have a 16 year old daughter but don't have a boat. Neither does her BF. She has her permit though!
@Pickwick12 - 16 year olds are different now as opposed to 100, 500, or 1000 years ago because we shelter them and hide them from the realities of life. When I was 17 I worked in a resturant. While I was as good a cook as anyone else on the line, I was legally not allowed to work in that area of the resturaunt because of child labor laws. I wasn't even allowed to hold a kitchen knife to do prep work. That didn't stop my manager from throwing me behind the line.
One of the things you also learn in psychology is that nature and nurture have a 50/50 influence on a developing mind. That means that while most normal minds do have a set track of development, and are mature by age 25, that track can be speed up or slowed down depending on how much or how little enrichment they recieve. In the case of Abby Suterland, she had been on the water her entire life. She knew how to sail and she knew how to make responsible decisions on her boat. It's what kept her alive during that storm.
I'm not advocating that 15-17 year olds should be allowed to do whatever the hell they want, or that they should be allowed to work in dangerous industries. But for Christs sake! Adolescence is supposed to be a period of discovering who you are and what you're capable of. How can they do that when people cry 'child endangerment!' everytime they try to explore the world they inhabit?
@Ayliana87 I agree @Pickwick12@Bricker59 - @Still_groovy - - - It wasn't so long ago that kids as young as 11 and 12 worked summers at factories to earn the money they wanted and sometimes needed. We have developed a nation where " safety" trumps personal liberty and to practice independence is so severely limited to the point where we are afraid to let our children go anywhere alone. Risking your life to achieve something is a no- no....
Except when it comes to sex. By all means, (even without a parents ok) society says it's permissible to engage in the riskiest behavior for young women possible in 2010--just rely on a condom. If you catch something, hopefully there's a cure. If you get pregnant (even at 14), just have a surgical procedure and risk personal, possibly permanent injury to cure that problem. But do not dare attempt something that takes actual top notch skills, no matter how well learned you are. I mean after all--risky sex can't be compared to sailing even though both can kill you. One is Russian roulette using a couple of props. The other, pfft....what's a well stocked boat equipped with the best technology, and master sailing skills at hand...nope no comparison
as far a other people risking their lives to help her...well, guess what? Each time there is a fire in this country in a home started inside fire places--firefighters risk their lives to help. If no one is home--they still risk their lives for personal property. PROPERTY. Should we ban fire places? Rescue crews in all fields put their lives on the line everyday (even for animals) That's what they do. If people stopped needing to be rescued, then lots of people would be out of a job.
There are exceptions to everything. But, in general terms I've always taught my kids to THINK before doing. Weigh the pro's & con's. This girl and her family are nothing but glory seekers.
I think it's a parent's job to assess whether the end justifies the risk it takes to get there. I mean, Joan of Arc leading an army resulted in victory for France during a cruel war. But Abby Sunderland sailing all around the world results in...a world record. Personally, I'd rather lose my life for a more noble cause than that, but to each their own, I guess.
@ShamelesslyRed -Thanks so much for the reply. I found your post through a rec, and it's definitely food for thought.
The fact that underage children shouldn't engage in sex is not a valid argument for why they should be allowed to do things like sail around the world alone. It's two different arguments, and one doesn't apply to the other. 100% agree that kids shouldn't be having sex, and I highly respect your position. I don't think they should be doing either one.
In the past, younger children certainly did different things, but this world is not that world, unfortunately. For instance, it's very true that where I live, it's not safe to have unsupervised children playing outside (not true everywhere-my cousins live in a safer part of the country). I may not like that, but it doesn't change the reality. The fact that children do or have done risky things doesn't change the fact that their brains don't have adult judgment. As a teen, I didn't miss out. By the time I was sixteen, I had been out of the country three times for missions trips. But it wasn't me going alone. It was with a group of people, including trusted adults. Safe parenting doesn't mean not letting kids do anything. It means making compromises and recognizing that their judgment is growing but not fully mature.